I probably ought to be fair in this: the Florida Atlantic University (topic of today's Wikipedia entry of the day) is hardly a small university. It's at least half the size of Virginia Tech - the largest university in Virginia - has no less than six satellite campuses, and was the first public university to open in Florida. I'd just given it no consideration up to this point, which in my egocentric sort of way makes it an obscure little place in Boca that nobody really gives two shakes of a donkey's butt about. I hope I've just offended everyone who has gone, goes, or is planning to go to Florida Atlantic.
Slightly tangentially, as these blogs tend to go, when I was looking for potential theatre schools, I gave some thought to Florida State, which is said to have a pretty terrific theatre program. I can't remember precisely why I chose not to apply - I think it was because the program offered only an MFA in theatre, which would've been a pretty weird thing to shift into coming from engineering like I was. In retrospect, I think I probably should have given them my information anyway and seen what happened. I mean, what's the worst that could have happened? I could've gotten turned down, I suppose, but I got turned down by NCSA and SUNY Purchase, so that hardly would've been traumatizing. As an aside, it was probably a good thing I got turned down from NCSA and SUNY Purchase, 'cause both of those schools were FUCKING expensive. Even if I was, somehow, able to afford four years of acting school at over 40 grand a year, it would have locked me into the profession out of a feeling of sheer investment. I wouldn't even be able to contemplate going back to grad school for something else, like I'm doing now.
Anyway, at least part of the reason I chose not to apply to Florida State was because I figured I had no chance of getting in, but I think it's argument-worthy whether or not that was actually true. I got into AADA, after all. I had a much more self-defeatist attitude before I came to New York, more of this feeling that if there was a good chance I wouldn't succeed, then I shouldn't even try. Lucifer's quote in "Inferno" comes to mind: "Because I might lose? Funny reason for turning down a duel." It derives from being generally successful at things that really mattered to me as I was growing up, and from a self-inflated notion of my own intelligence. I hated it when I failed at anything, hated when I made any mistakes, and as a result I either didn't care about things that I wasn't good at (like sports), or simply didn't undertake them.
It's always interesting when I look back on the person that I was, as compared to the person that I am now. Age and experience will do that to a person, which I guess is a better gift than than just liver spots and severe incontinence. I barely recognize myself from just two years ago, much less five or ten. Going to acting school, working full-time and living completely on my own, and seriously dating people have all left their mark and exacted their toll. I wonder if I could honestly say I'm a better person. Wiser, perhaps, but does wisdom necessarily indicate improvement?
I don't really feel like going into that right now. How the devil did I go from Florida Atlantic University into a discussion of my personal failings? Ha, well, this IS my blog, so it's pretty much inevitable that everything discussed will inevitably circle back around to how it relates to my life. Narcissism is par for the course when you're maintaining an online blog, I think.
(As another aside, which we all know I do dearly adore, I think I'm getting less witty and less funny with my blogs as my days drag on. I blame it on Dead Rising and the late hours I've been staying up trying to keep the motherfucking useless retards scattered around the mall alive long enough to shove them into the "secure" security room, where they can drive each other insane with their incessant whining and demands for attention. Carlito was right - that place is hell, and not because of the zombie infestation.)
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