Tuesday, June 14, 2011

On absolving myself

Did I really go almost all of 2010 without writing almost anything in yon blog? That's...actually pretty amazing to me. Things are changing. That's almost as broad and as general a statement as I can make. Things keep changing. Earth, life, and fate continue to move me in directions I find wondrous, strange, and incomprehensible. Oh, wait, I forgot that I don't believe in fate.

(Liar, I tell myself. Well, half a liar. It's a little like declaring an agnostic a liar when he proclaims that he doesn't believe in God.)

Finding my way around my words feels sluggish today. Not, mind you, that I haven't been writing. God - taking a whole year away from narration would be like, oh I don't know, slicing off my own thumbs. Cutting out a piece of my soul. I exist in narration. I exist to narrate. Not a day goes by when I don't contemplate some story in my head and wonder how I could translate that image into something as wonderful and fascinating to someone else as it is to me. I wish I were more industrious, however. I also wish I were taller, that my nose were straighter, that I were more muscular, more intelligent, more charming, more dashing, more apt to speak my mind and stick to what I say. If wishes were horses, I could pull an entire city. Which brings up a fascinating image - a city made of gold filigree, floating upon clouds, pulled by a sea of horses. Or maybe just four really big ones. Huge. Like...Colossus of Rhodes huge.

I digress. I write. I have an idea right now that could take a bit of execution. It's actually a melding of several ideas, none of which seemed to work particularly well on their own, but take on some magnificent properties when alloyed together. Watch for the Watchtower. Vigilance Always. Vigilance Unending.