So I was in the Great Wall restaurant underneath my apartment with Darien. Yes, it's a Chinese restaurant, and I'm sure there are hundreds in New York called "Great Wall." We're not, as a whole, terribly creative when it comes to naming things in English. Anyway, I eat there a lot, and I do mean a lot. Their eyes light up when they see me, and even the owners' kids know what I'm going to order when I walk through the door (Hunan shrimp with brown rice, incidentally.)
So yeah, I was in there with Darien, and after a brief discussion about cash we decide that I'll pay for dinner. So she goes, "I'll have the meat dumplings, and he LOVES the cock." And I was all like, "Omgwtfpwned!"
(Pause.)
Okay, no she didn't. We were actually just talking about it after leaving the restaurant because the lady at the desk thought she was my girlfriend. I found the idea, however, hilarious in a manner difficult to fully articulate. I mean, say you've been working in an oily, sticky, dimly-lit, low-brow dive of a kitchen for some seven and a half hours. Your English is spotty, one of your most consistent customers comes in with a gigantic redheaded girl (Darien is six foot, one inch), and while ordering she just casually goes, "Yeah, he LOVES the cock."
How the hell do you respond to that? Do you even understand what she's talking about? Isn't cock a term for a male chicken? You thought he liked shrimp! Should you just ignore the statement? Smile and nod? Oh my god, what do you say? Quick! Need an answer!
"Ohhhh, really! Yeah, me too!"
"Okay! We have lots cock! Best cock!"
"Oh no, the cock no good here."
"Do you like cock too?"
"What kind cock does he like?"
"Whaaaat? He is The Gay?"
The potential for hilarity is spectacular enough that I almost want her to try it out one day, just to see what their response would be. It would probably have to be the day that I move to midtown or something, because I do like eating there and the food's remarkably cheap.
Heeheee...he LOVES the cock!
God, I'm such an artard.
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