I imagine there are a gazillion of these out there, but I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and express the sheer elation I felt last night when I realized that Barack Obama had won the presidency. I had just gotten out of dinner with some friends and was making my way toward a friend's bar when I heard the cheers ringing up and down the streets, the cars honking their horns, the music suddenly blaring from open windows, and I felt a surge of sheer joy like nothing I've experienced in months. Possibly years. XES was utterly packed when I went inside, and although crowds like that usually make me intensely uncomfortable I felt utterly at home, bathed in the electrifying sense of enthusiasm and optimism. Hope. I've never cheered for something as much or as loudly as I did when Obama made his speech, and when he was done half the bar was misty-eyed or outright crying.
After such an evening, only a cynic would wake up thinking that good things only happen in isolation. Well, I've certainly been telling my friends that living in New York is slowly but surely turning my heart into a shriveled plum of bitterness. When I woke up this morning, despite all my hopes the previous evening, I had this horrifying certainty that Proposition 8 would pass. Thus, when I learned that it had, it felt less like a punch in the face than a screwdriver twisting just a few more turns in my gut. The Lord giveth with one hand and taketh away with the other, as they say.
As disheartened as I am about Proposition 8, however, I find myself unwilling to condemn the people who voted yes for it. I'm frustrated and a bit heartsick, but not despairing, because I believe the people who voted to deny us this equal right did so from a place of fear. Fear that we, somehow, represent a threat to their own security, to the things that they themselves hold dear, to their families and their loved ones. The majority of them don't act out of malice, but out of ignorance, insecurity, and even misguided good intent. That fear can be alleviated by understanding, and I honestly believe that with time and effort understanding can come to even the most bull-headed of men.
As disheartened as I am about Proposition 8, I continue to believe in the progress we're making. California had banned gay marriage with an overwhelming majority vote a scant 8 years ago - less than a third my current lifespan. Today, it managed to do it again only by a scant 2% margin. What will the social climate be in eight more years, I wonder? What further progress will we have made? What effect will Barack Obama's presidency have had in those eight years? The Bush administration has made a ruin of our country, and still we manage to move from a landslide victory for intolerance to Proposition 8 barely squeaking by. If Obama proves to be the harbinger for change, the spearhead of hope that he has made himself out to be, what can we expect from the next eight years?
That, I think, is the true reason Barack Obama has so impressed upon me. I'm as aware as anyone that he is a politician, that he is not in support of gay marriage, that he isn't some paragon of perfection here to lead us to some mythic golden age. He has given us some grand promises, and I am perfectly aware that he probably won't be able to follow up on them all. I believe that he will try, however. I believe that he will make every effort to make good on his promises. In short, I believe that under all the politics he is a truly good man. And in my belief in him, I have found strength, hope, and a willingness to get out of my chair and work for that beautiful tomorrow. That is his gift, the gift of any great leader: the ability to inspire others to become more than they are.
He's inspired me. That is enough.
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(As a post-script...I am never going to get the last of this goddamn travelogue transcribed!)
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