Friday, August 22, 2008

On stinky, unwanted children

Hello blog. I return. Has it really been only three months since I've written? I find that curiously unfathomable. It seems like entire lifetimes have passed since I last wrote here. Certainly my love life has died and resurrected a couple of times since we last spoke.

Wow, I'm not even sure where to begin. So I'm not going to! No recap for you! Ahahaha! My cruelty knows no bounds, and you will not know all the things that have occurred over the course of the last several months. The ordeals that have changed me from that poor, innocent boy looking for love and happiness to this cynical, surly soul who would mug a beggar for the change in his cup and then kick a puppy on his way home. A blind, three-legged puppy who wags his tail whenever someone walks by, despite months of cold neglect, for the simple joy of a pat on his head. Yeah, that puppy. I ate him. It was delicious.

Yeah, okay, so I dated a few guys, broke up with a few guys (is it breaking up if you haven't even been dating a month?), and now sort of feel like that prototypical gay who seems to flounce aimlessly from one relationship to another. They (whoever "they" are) were right about online dating, by the way - just because it seems like you're compatible on the numbers...doesn't mean there's going to be the slightest bit of chemistry. Dear Jesus have I got stories...if I hadn't scoured them out of my brain. With bleach. I'm sorry, were we talking about something...?

Things now are...interesting and not at all straightforward. I don't particularly feel like elaborating on that, except possibly to say that whenever things SEEM to be straightforward, fortune seems to enjoy dropping a seriously obese kid off into my neighborhood pool.

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