Tuesday, August 23, 2005

On pretty pretty templates

The template I have decided to use is so...so...clean! I love it! I'm sure 248,148,171 other people have also decided to use said template, but I can't help it. There's just that attracts me to it. It's so preeetttttyyyy...

I think I've said everything I wanted to say today already, so let me just inaugurate the commencement of this, what I consider to be my online journal and commentary when I really want to write a lot very quickly, as in much faster than I could possibly do by hand and remain legible. I shall also inaugurate this as the commencement of many long, complex, and highly run-on sentences. They are a favorite of mine, a bad habit, and something I fully intend to divest myself of given much time and writing experience. It just so happens that every now and again, I do want to write simply for the sake of writing, and not say say something like, "He waved his hand with frightening casualness. The earth tore, and the sky burst into flames." I'm obviously very fond of a) godlike powers and b) purple prose. You end up with very purple gods doing things to entire worlds that, were they done by human hands, would be proclaimed wildly homosexual.

Speaking of wildly homosexual, I think I need an enterprising gay man to go through my closet. There are unspeakable things in there - things that must never again be shown the light of day. The safest thing to do is to burn them, mix the ashes into concrete, and then encase the whole thing in a foot of lead before burying them in a secret storage chamber underneath the Sierra Nevada mountains. I can see the movie title already: "Tacky Jeans from the Deep!" I would do it myself if I weren't very lazy and, ultimately, largely indifferent to the way I look.

Consistency is for small minds.

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